i have never laughed so hard in my life


why do teapots scream like wtf shut the hell up you piece of shit

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

219,932 notes






be careful washing dishes in the dark

is this fall out boy lyrics


Oh. I thought it was like a pun towards “my songs know what you did in the dark”

just trying to warn people about the dangers of trying to clean their good china when they can’t see

(Source: haners, via melodiemuggy)

133,512 notes

(Source: sirmichaelscott, via planes-i-thought-were-stars)

235,523 notes


so my history teacher is a really cool guy but he’s also one of those teachers who, upon being asked “can i go to the bathroom?” goes “i don’t know, *can* you?” and he did it to a girl and she goes “WHAT ARE YOU PREPARING ME FOR? YOU REALIZE THAT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL I WILL NEVER NEED TO ASK PERMISSION TO USE THE BATHROOM AGAIN, AND THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF CAN SAYS ‘BE PERMITTED TO’” 

(via samguinity)

115,945 notes



Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.

i want a novel focused around a character with braces during the apocalypse and the entire plot of the story revolves around their search for an orthodontist who is still alive and they sort of accidentally save the world in the process

(via samguinity)

229,707 notes

  • Every cheerleading movie ever: THEY STOLE OUR ROUTINE

233,121 notes


50 shades of dark circles under my eyes

(Source: macklemack, via love-and-rockits)

210,498 notes